To B

Hey guys.. someone I know practically begged me to post this on my blog cause she was desperate to show her friend how much today was a life changing event. Idiot.
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To B-
I know you will be laughing about it when you see this, but I still think that today was the day we were suppose to die. I couldn’t help it that the stupid break wasn’t working! Your face that minute was priceless and I was about to pee on my pants when I parked the freakin car beside the mosque. Dude, we lost our appetite after we went to the jam3iya and got the “bl3a” food including the 2 huge ice cream buckets. I’m sorry that all the stuff in the car got flipped around when I turned the wheel o the kemawy bag almost went flying through the window. And after we almost got killed on the duwar I started to drive very slowly and then you suddenly screamed and told me to “DOOS SHWAY” cause apparently I was driving at 10kilometers/hour. And that was how we started the whole thing when you said “N.. DOOOOOOSAYYY!!!!!”

I love you B****

Your one and only,
N

P.S. I’m still sorry walla :)

MiAmor[4]

Out of boredom, 7ijazt an Indian movie in laila galary at 5 il ma’3rb.

At the food counter, I ordered caramel popcorn, and a sneaker bar with water, and took off to my seat.

 Meanwhile at the movie, I sobbed gradually, comparing me and him*. The Indian guy next to me offered me his napkin and asked if I were ok.

I screamed “ NO!!!!!”

I whimpered. 6la3t i3yoona miskeen wa3alaya!

I couldn’t keep it in me anymore, I had to tell someone. “LISTEN….”I screeched while a tear came down from my eye, tickling my cheek. People stared staring with curiosity, so I lowered my voice…

 

“This is how it all started….” * he grabbed hi popcorn* and I started to talk.

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In college, on my way to class.

“DALIAAAAA!! Wait up!!”

I turned back, and smiled to shireefa; my friend from college.

“Halla shireefa!”

She held onto a guy, whom seemed shy enough to eye me.

“7abeebty Dalia, remember when you told me you needed help in accounting?

“ee…”

“Ka, yibtlich wa7d thaky ib accounting. He took an A in it, and 7abeebty I asked him if he would tutor you, and he didn’t have a problem…hmm like tutor you in the library.. shrayich?”

That’s so cute how shy he was.

“Um, walla 5oosh fikra,since im literally failing accounting and my ma9ry tutor isn’t heping at all, bs mita2kd ina its ok with you..? um…uh..?”

“Jassim.”

“ya ok sorry, is it ok though?”

“Perfectly fine, itha mafahmtay miny, goolay!”

“inshala, hehe… 3ayal tomorrow ate 3….?”

“5oosh!”

“ok yalla mashkooreen! I have to go, take care.”

Me and shirefa exchanged hugs and me and JASSIM just exchanged pleasant eye contact.

“bubye!” shirefa screamed.

Jassim was….pretty. When he smiled, his eyes squinted; he had those kind of lazy eyes. His nose was another story, his nose was not perfect, and they were a tad fat. His smile was stunning; every inch of hair in your body would stand up.mhm. And His lips were the kind of small/big lips, indescribable. But his hair that was under his hat was cute; a combination of wavy & straight. He wasn’t beautiful, but something in him just would catch your attention and makes you feel comfortable around him.

Next day at 3,

            I was on my laptop, typing my final essay. Just losing track of time. I got so tired. drinking a lot of coffee just didn’t help at all. I closed my laptop, and decided to head home. While I put my staff in the passenger’s seat, I kept thinking that I must have forgotten something. I checked my watch, and damn it... it was 4.

I FORGOT TO MEET JASSIM AT THE LIBRARY!

I took my mobile and ran to the library, but he was nowhere to be seen.

I called shireefa

             “7abeebty make it fastm im in class and im going to take a quiz now!”

            “send me Jassims number!”

            “ok, bubye!”

Message:

            99***---

I messaged

            Hey sorry, honestly im so sorry I forgot about the time, a thousand sorries!-Dalia(the desperate accounting student)

 

Message

            Halla Dalia,haha, ooo 3adi.. shta3wa ;p apology accepted. Bacher il sa3 8 il 9ob7, oo laa tinsain hal mara ;p!

I messaged

            Lat 5af, I won’t let you down.

MiAmor[3]

“intay 7ilwa”

“iskiiit”

“la!!! Ta3aly 3andy, abe ashoof il JAMAAL!”

“tikfa bas, ive had a terrible day today”

“shfeech 7abebty?”

“wait, aren’t you dead?”

“shfeech 7abeebty?”

“umbay.”
6oo6.6oo6.6oo6.

I shut the alarm, and sat up. That was a really unusual dream.

I miss his voice, and the conversations we used to have.

I cleared the tears off my face, then grabbed my iPod, and went to the kitchen to drink some milk .

Then headed downstairs to where the pool was.

I dipped one of my feet in, and let the other fold. I hesitated while looking at the iPod; I can’t listen to music, NO! I don’t want to listen to any love songs; it just put a whole in my heart.

I lay on the floor, and started to think.

I was scared to do anything; I always thought he looked over at me.

I know for a fact that he is in a high spirited place, and feeling loved and contentment,inshala.

I needed to gain my strength back, I need to loosen up, and move on.
But it was just too hard for me, knowing that the person who died build me up and helped me through all my tough times.

I shared everything with him, and no one else. I had difficulties trusting people, but he was like an angel. Just telling him what I thought and what I was going through made me realize that

someone is there for me, and is helping me from falling.

We were Inseparable, and letting go would be the hardest obsession my heart can take.

I try not to let my past control my future, but it just comes back, and haunts me down.

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p.s. Im sorry for the short post, the next post inshala will be long.

Enjoy xx

To All

Hey Everyone. 

I just wanted to make things clear. 

This Blog is based on true events.

MiAmor[2]

I forgot to close my curtains last night, so that called out for the sun at 6 am. Once I wake up, I never can go back to sleep. I just lay there; blasé.  Snuggled my heavy blanket, and stared at my ring on my forth finger of my left hand. Nope, it will never be removed. Ever. Then distracting my eyes off it, I stared at the light. How it comforts me, it assuaged my depression.  I took my phone, out of my drawer, and opened it. 7 messages and 5 missed calls. I was scared to open it; I was jolted to open my inbox. I wouldn’t want his name to pop out. I would cry a river. So I just shut off my phone, and forgot it even existed. I woke up, for what it seemed 7 o’clock; after the heavy wonders of my gloominess.

                I washed up, brushed my teeth. Left the drips of water of my wet hair descend, not wanting to blow it, and headed off to pray. I would pray for him, every day, every time, and all the time, since 54 days ago.  I had lost a massive amount of weight. Not being normal. Parents were concerning, friends were obscure when trying to talk to me. NO ONE KNEW. And that’s the way it should be. Folded.

This is the story of my life, Dalia.

MiAmor[1]

He died. Just like that. Honestly, it was like a knife had cut the veins of my heart; the hard veins, leaving me heartbroken. Nothing in this green land can explain that feeling, it wasn’t mutual. I didn’t share it to anyone, hardly anyone. My friends were betrayals; my parents knew nothing of him. He just vanished. Leaving me a price to pay. Can someone fix that broken heart of mine?